'Nam

By Tom
Saigon, Vietnam

What the heck is Vietnam like?  Vietnam is the country that I had the least idea of what to expect before we came here.  This is the country that we fought a war against, and lost!  I didn't even know if Vietnam is still a communist country (answer: sort of).  High school history class, CNN, and reviews from other travelers all contradict each other about what this country is like.  It's an oppressive communist regime; it's a modern economic powerhouse.  There are happy, honest people; there are unfriendly con-artists looking to cheat and rob you.  The cities are clean and efficient; they're dirty and chaotic.   It's a peaceful oasis; it's an overwhelming fray.    In reality, we've found that Vietnam is a bit of each of these.

A girl in traditional clothing at a pagoda in Hanoi

The government is unafraid of using propaganda.  Our most fascinating cultural encounter was visiting the prison referred to (sarcastically) by American soldiers as the Hanoi Hilton.  We were blown away by Vietnam's spin on what happened there.  The prison is almost completely focused on the brutal French treatment of Vietnamese "political prisoners" in the 1940s and 50s, who were subjected to leg shackles, barbaric cell conditions, and even executions with a guillotine.  In only one small room was there information of Vietnam's use of the prison to house American POWs, but even this room mostly just vilified the "Imperialist Americans."  A display claims: "During the war the national economy was difficult but Vietnamese government had created the best living conditions for US pilots for they had a stable life during the detention period."

When ex-POW Senator John McCain visited the prison in 2000, he referred to this description as "entertaining."  McCain, who can no longer lift his arms above his shoulders because of the beatings he sustained at the Hilton, said he never forgave the guards for what they did to him and his friends, including killing many of them.  American POWs were subjected to rope bindings, irons, and solitary confinement  in order to break their will so that they would sign statements against America and capitalism and would praise Vietnam and its government.  The government then released these statements as propaganda.  Ironically, McCain's flight suit from his time of capture is prominently and proudly displayed, although McCain claimed that this suit wasn't actually his.  

Leg shackles: brutal and barbaric when used by the French against the Vietnamese, yet somehow justified when used against the Americans!

Signs like this are found on most street corners in Vietnam.  This translates to "All for the purpose of building and defending our socialist Vietnam."

Referred to as "Uncle Ho," the ubiquitous face of Ho Chi Minh, seen here in the historic post office in Saigon

There is a free market and conspicuous consumption.  While it's still common to see rows of peasants in cone-shaped hats working the rice paddies in the countryside, both Hanoi and Saigon have extremely wealthy districts.  Alongside elegant five-star hotels are stores like Gucci and Prada and expensive restaurants and bistros with Lexus and Rolls-Royce cars parked out front.  While many of the smaller cities are filled with joyless Communist cement block-houses built in the 1970s and 80s, the old neighborhoods of Hanoi and Saigon are tree-lined and pleasant, with wide, clean sidewalks and beautiful buildings.  They contain stunning Asian temples and classical French and Vietnamese architecture.  People have been able to own their own land and have private businesses for over 25 years.

Beautiful bonsai trees are found everywhere in Vietnam

Bicycle flower stalls make for a lovely addition to the cities

Motorbikes rule your life in Vietnam.  There are an estimated 20 million motorbikes in Vietnam, but when you're trying to cross the street in Hanoi or Saigon, that estimate seems a bit low.  Waiting for a traffic light or a break in the motorbikes is an exercise in futility.  There are never breaks in the motorbikes in the streets.  You have to simply step off the sidewalk and keep an even pace and the motorbikes judge from your pace how to swerve around you.  You cannot alter your pace or you will get nailed.

The motorbikes even go onto the sidewalk.  However, on the sidewalks, the motorbikes have to dodge around all the store merchandise, which in Vietnam's cities is displayed entirely on the sidewalk rather than in the actual store.  Similarly, most restaurants in Vietnam consist of footstools on the sidewalk that spill out onto the street, where people eat noodle soups and drink 15 cent beers.  Walking anywhere in Vietnam's major cities is not easy.  The only thing on the sidewalk you don't have to dodge are other pedestrians because no one seems to walk anywhere in the cities when they could take a motorbike instead.  

Step off the sidewalk, keep an even pace, and good luck!

The stores are the homes, so sidewalks are the stores, so the sidewalk vendors are forced into the streets, which become so crowded that the motorbikes start driving on the sidewalks, so...

As an addendum to the previous blog post, I sadly did not get a picture of the two best things I saw on motorbikes in Vietnam.  One was two full-grown, very pink and very alive pigs; one strapped to each side of the bike.  The other was a woman sitting on the back of a motorbike who was breast-feeding a baby in one hand and holding a dead chicken in the other hand.  You can guess how many hands this left her for actually holding on!

The Vietnamese are not a quiet people, nor do they sleep in.  Julia and I decided that jackhammering is either a strange martial art or an odd form of transportation in Vietnam.  In both Saigon and Hanoi, the jackhammers start going off at 6am.  Similarly, the Vietnamese are not shy about yelling to each other across a room, as anyone who has been to a Vietnamese-operated store in Manhattan has probably observed.  All of this does not make sleeping easy after dawn.  And since you're up anyway, you might as well go to the park and observe the quintessentially Vietnamese ritual of the pre-dawn exercise regimen.  People flood the parks by 5:30 am; young men go jogging while old ladies stand in long lines doing group tai chi.

Julia is the new face of English language courses in Vietnam!  We were stopped on the street by a teaching school that asked her to be in the video.

Merchants are persistent in their attempt to get your money.  While most people you meet in Vietnam are friendly and kind, it seems the street hawkers and store owners have decided that foreign tourists respond best to the "unrelenting nagging" strategy.  They stand in the doorway and call out to absolutely everyone who walks by to "See my shop!" or "Buy somet'ing?"  And they're incredibly dishonest in their attempt for your business.  I had a motorbike taxi who tried to make me pay the full negotiated price for taking me to a place that was only about 50 feet away when he could have just pointed to it.  Similarly, you can stand there and watch a local hand over $2 in local currency for a whole bag of oranges to the street vendors (who are, by the way, possibly the least pleasant people on earth) and they then turn to you and demand $1.50 for three tiny oranges.  Either there's a special that day -"Buy three oranges for $1.50, pay only 50 cents more for a whole bag!" -or they're demanding a pretty steep "white tax."  They act completely indignant when you won't pay them what they're asking.

However, we witnessed the absolute worst example of the touts not allowing tourists to have a moment's peace from harassment in Ha Long Bay.  Imagine, dear reader, standing on the deck of an ancient wooden ship, far out to sea, breathing the fresh salty air and watching the sun dip down behind the magical karsts of Ha Long Bay, when out of nowhere a shrill voice from below starts shouting "Buy somet'ing?.......Buy somet'ing?.......Buy somet'ing?......He'ro?......He'ro?.....Buy somet'ing?...."  The woman with the rowboat full of Oreos and Coca-cola assumes that the reason you're not looking at her is because you're not hearing her properly.  

"....buy somet'ing?....buy somet'ing?....buy somet'ing?...buy somet'ing?"

"Tom" means "shrimp" in Vietnamese.  The people here all giggle when I tell them my name.  This is a change from Thailand and Laos, where they all shout "Tom?  LIKE TOM AND JERRY!"  Also, the word for "thank you" in Vietnamese sounds just like "come on." This has on several occasions created friction between Julia and I, like when we're getting out of a taxi and she shouts "Come ON!" and I shout back "Would you be patient?! I have to pay the guy!!"  

All in all, Vietnam: a beautiful place with a fascinating culture.  Forty years ago, this was a place that our parents could never have imagined someone visiting as a tourist.  Now, despite the touts and the motorbikes, we've found most people to be incredibly sweet and friendly, and our weeks in Vietnam were most enjoyable.   It makes us wonder where our kids will write letters from when they're traveling in their 20's.  "Dear Mom and Dad, Afghanistan is great but we still think our favorite place we've traveled is Iraq."  We'll see.

Women performing a traditional dance in Hoi An

A traditional dance performance to Vietnamese classical music